Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining stocks hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillars stock inched up a bit.
Sun microsystems peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries burst in an attempt to recharge the market.